my teenage son is lazy and unmotivated

Pressuring or providing incentives cannot truly make an activity enjoyable. This will then motivate them to do their part as a member of the family. Encourage your son to engage in regular exercise, eat a balanced diet, and maintain good sleep habits. Encourage your son to explore different activities and hobbies. AI technology is capable of tremendous feats and has misled educated people to mistake it as sentient. We, Yahoo, are part of the Yahoo family of brands. Unfortunately, this means most teenagers are not getting enough exercise, which can lead to a decline in overall health and well-being. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. So, now that you know why your teenager might feel lazy and unmotivated, lets talk about what you can do to help him. His name is Adam Price and hes a child psychologist and the author of Hes Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself. The episode originally ran in October 2018. [6-Effective-Communication-Techniques], 35% of 8th graders reported being not at all interested in school. We hope you found this information helpful and informative. What mph Wind Is Dangerous To Drive In? Encourage him to explore various activities and hobbies until he finds something he genuinely enjoys. One of the main reasons for this is the lack of structure and discipline in their lives. This is done by setting some reasonable expectations for his grades. Its natural to feel frustrated and worried, but its important to understand that this behavior is not uncommon. So the next day after returning, I sent him to Walmart to buy a new one. That's right. By having a routine, he will develop discipline and a sense of responsibility, which are essential for long-term success. Give them some responsibilities: giving them tasks and holding them accountable can help them feel like they have a purpose. Medications that improve attention are called stimulants (caffeine is in this category). If we include slightly milder cases, about 5-10 percent of the population have these characteristics. As adults, we need to find joy and purpose in getting out of bed . You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Are more young men disengaged today than a couple decades ago? Child Lacks Motivation | Unmotivated Kids | Child Mind Institute This includes listening to them even if they disagree. The brains of people with ADD traits can in a sense be thought of as less internally stimulated than average brains their brains require higher levels of external stimulation to engage them. However, he is not particularly motivated by pleasing others. I. By fostering a positive environment, you can inspire your son to be more motivated and engaged in his daily life. By having a clear direction, he will feel more motivated to work towards accomplishing his objectives. This can be challenging, especially when dealing with a teenager struggling with laziness and lack motivation. Please enable JavaScript and refresh the page in order to complete this form. He never seemed motivated about school. Be open and honest about your own experiences, and share any advice or guidance that you think could be helpful. As the adult in the relationship, you must enforce the rules that you set and dole out consequences for disobeying the rules. How to Motivate a Teenager with Depression - New Haven Creating a safe and non-judgmental space where your child feels comfortable discussing their thoughts and feelings its crucial. The Unmotivated Teen | Psychology Today The Unmotivated Teen Helping your son move from defiance to self-reliance Motivation The Secret to Your Son's Achievement Adam Price Ph.D. on March. Since 1998, millions of parents and adults have trusted ADDitude's The transition from being a youngster to being a teenager can be a tricky one for your child. How to Motivate the Unmotivated Child | Empowering Parents People have the capacity to change. He also lacked organizational systems for his work, despite his parents attempts to help him set these up. Incentives can be powerful motivators for teenagers. Teens can become discouraged and unmotivated if their parents or carers keep them from exploring their interests or offering them the time or resources to do so. How to Motivate Teenagers | Empowering Parents Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. [ADHD Ages & Stages] Teens with ADHD Need Scaffolds and Structure, Driving with ADHD: Pumping the Brakes on Vehicle Safety Risks, ADHD in Teens: How Symptoms Manifest as Unique Challenges, Generation AnXiety: Findings on ADHD & the Mental Health Crisis, ADHD Symptoms in Teens: Your Guide to Warning Signs & Treatments for Adolescents, The Damaging Effects of Cannabis on the ADHD Brain, The Parents Guide to Dismantling Oppositional, Defiant Behavior. This will help him feel more energized and motivated and will improve his overall well-being. It is alarming to see that only 20% of adolescents meet the physical activity guidelines set by theWorld Health Organization. Fortunately, he had an excellent response to the drug and no side effects. So they do what we all do when something makes us anxious: They avoid it. Our mission is to be your trusted advisor, an unwavering source of understanding Offer specific suggestions for improvement and acknowledge his strengths. Your teenager has the potential to become a motivated and successful individual. First, no matter how frustrated you might feel, don't call him any four-letter words. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. Listening to your teens opinions and feelings is critical to a good relationship. It also involves relative deficits of what is referred to as executive functioning, or cognitive control (simply put: the ability to control ones thoughts and actions the basis of willpower; these higher mental functions are closely related to, and to some degree dependent on, the ability to focus). A teenager who has yet to set a clear goal for their future career may not be motivated to study or do well in school. Show him what motivation looks like by pursuing your own goals and passions. The bottom line is, I think you should use whatever works the bestand use the things your child enjoys to motivate your child. Reward your teen when they follow through with their commitments. All types of individuals were needed for the group to survive and thrive. Leading by example is an effective way to motivate your son. Acknowledge and celebrate your sons successes, no matter how small. If you would like to customise your choices, click 'Manage privacy settings'. When the options are: 1) try and fail or 2) try and succeed and then feel the pressure to continue to succeed, sometimes teens create option 3) don't try. Q: Hello, I am the mother of a very bright teen with ADHD who has NO motivation at all and who says to me, I have no idea how to get motivated when it is things I am not interested in. I have not found any strategies that help and my husband and many teachers think he is just lazy. I do not want to make excuses for him; I want to help him help himself and I dont know how. YoYo Mom, You pose a thorny (and common) question: How can you encourage (or force) a teen with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) to learn things that dont interest him? The 10 Most Popular AoM Podcast Episodes of 2023 (So Far), Podcast #910: Master Microtransitions to Improve the Happiness, Success, and Flow of Your Life. Praise and encourage him when he does something well, and avoid criticizing or belittling him when he makes mistakes. Try not to overreact and give your teen the most severe punishment for small arguments or conflicts. Many individuals harbor concerns that granting such autonomy to children will inevitably lead to poor choices and subsequent failure. In this interview, teenage behavior expert Josh Shipp explains where your child's motivation really liesand how you can tap into it. 11 Secrets Motivating Your Intelligent But Unmotivated Teenager Your teen may get upset or angry, but they will understand the consequences of their actions and likely think twice about disobeying a rule or neglecting a chore again. need guidance and support to help them find their purpose in life, 7 Tiny Fitness Habits When You're Too Busy for a Workout, 13 Ways To Motivate Your Lazy & Unmotivated Teenage Son, 2. Social support can be a key factor in making successful lifestyle changes. Will My Dog Think I Abandoned Him When I Go On Vacation? However, dealing with a teen who seems uninterested can feel hopeless. 1. He would start to read up on science or history, but he would quickly lose interest. It does not matter what he does, but the more he is engaged after school, the greater the chance he will be engaged in school. This only made the problem feel worse in later yearshe was underachieving terribly relative to his potential, just coasting along aimlessly, a sad waste of natural talent in his parents eyes. On the other hand, a diet rich in nutrients like fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can provide the energy and focus needed to stay alert and active throughout the day. In that case, you may figure out whats happening internally. Setting goals and expectations, creating a routine, and encouraging your teen to participate in activities they enjoy also help motivate them. Testing in Grade 3 had found him to be in the gifted range of intellectual functioning. Why is it so hard to motivate kids? This expert series has everything you need to know about speaking their language. That's why encouragement is one of the most important things you can do for your kid. According to Better Health Channel, a teenager needs between eight and 10 hours of sleep every night and most only get about 6.5-7.5 hours sleep per night.. Some of the details are a composite of several patients of mine who have had similar issues. For more tips from our co-author, including how to check on your teens mental health, read on. How to Motivate your Child - Tips for Unmotivated Children But the child sees it as the only way to have control over what's going on around him. In retrospect, he probably cruised because he was smart, the demands were low and the structure and supervision were high. Make It Fun 10. He is 9 years old for God's sake. [Know 6 Important Tips], How To Deal With a Defiant Teenager? However, there are other activities that we may impose on our children based on our own beliefs, while they may not necessarily align with their true aspirations. Please help me with my lazy, unmotivated 18yo son who is stuck on the He's always got B's, some A's. He also flipped out on my ex-wife and me and is not playing baseball this year. As Plato said, Education is teaching children to desire the right things.. Sit down with him and set achievable goals that align with his interests and passions. Thanks for reading this blog post. I took him to practice soccer every day. One way of treating your child's laziness is to talk and motivate. According to a report by the National Center for education statistics in 2015: Finally, the American Academy of Pediatrics reports that lack of physical activity contributes to teenage lethargy, obesity, and bad health. Dopamine plays a central role in attention and reinforcement of behavior. But the simple truth is that your attempts to motivate your child are probably working against you. Our modern environment is artificially skewed in favor of people who are focused, so these otherwise normal traits can be a liability in many settings. However, starting or addressing the problem can be difficult. In addition, it can lead to problems like depression and anxiety. By providing feedback in a supportive manner, you can motivate him to grow and develop his skills. Illustrate to him that learning a new skill and mastering it can be enjoyable. Make a chore list for your teenager to provide some structure. Still, overall it provides an idea of how common these problems are. Be specific about the tasks you use as rewards. Be patient and understanding. Aim for Internal Motivation 3. Submit your question or challenge here. Motivation. Encourage him to prioritize his time and avoid procrastination, and help him develop good habits that will last a lifetime. Your teen may see this as unreasonable or annoying, but they will soon realize you will not stop watching them until they stop being lazy. Praise and Reward Effort More Than Outcome 8. Do you know why some teenagers can be lazy and lack motivation? My 9-year-old son and my mother visited me recently in Toronto. It often feels like teens speak an entirely different language. How to Motivate a "Lazy" Teenager: ADHD Parenting Strategies - ADDitude How can you do this? 1 Listen and be patient with your teen. Patience and persistence are essential when addressing the issue of laziness and lack of motivation in teenage sons. Setting clear and specific goals is essential for motivating your teenage son. How can I motivate a very bright teenager who seems incapable of getting started on tasks or projects that arent personally interesting? Underperforming students can also worry what will happen if they start trying and dont succeed. However, if the activity is unrelated to health or safety and you strongly desire your sons participation, then you need to reflect on your motivations. A healthy lifestyle plays a crucial role in motivation and overall well-being. Rather than take away their phone or computer when they don't listen to you, another option is to simply ask them to do a task and then stand there and watch them until they put down the distraction and complete the task. Lazy adolescents. | Psychology Today So these people find unstimulating activities that require patient mental effort to be completely unengaging and intolerably boring. Family?. If they fall behind on their schedule, limit their time with technology until they catch up. Besides, while communicating, you might find out about issues and hardships that are causing laziness. Use the log, also, like a bug zapper to attract his noxious thoughts and to kill them. When Your Unmotivated Teenager Fails to Find Purpose in Life When dealing with your childs laziness and lack of motivation, its essential to start by figuring out why they act the way they do. Unless the activity pertains to his health or safety, it is advisable to let him take the reins, albeit with your guidance. He didnt take the medication on days when he didnt need to concentrate as much, because he didnt want to feel so intense all the time. The author Daniel Pink has pointed out that relevance isas important to learning as are the other three Rs, however schools do not always draw the link between a teens curriculum and his life. Get the kid to talk," Price says. How to Deal with an Unmotivated Boy - BuildingBoys Depression and anxiety can lead to hopelessness, helplessness, and low self-esteem, making it difficult for teens to find the motivation and energy to engage in daily activities. Motivating a teenage son takes time and patience . Find out more about how we use your personal data in our privacy policy and cookie policy. For more tips from our co-author, including how to check on your teens mental health, read on. In addition to the aforementioned hurdles, your son is butting heads with what our society deems aproper education. Celebrate his successes and offer praise when he makes progress. ", Let your teen know you care about what's going on in their life and you are there to listen. Here are 9 steps to take when your underachieving child says "I don't care." 1. There are 19 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. [A Comprehensive Guide], How Should a Daughter Treat Her Mother? Remember, discouragement arrives before defeat. Though you may want to give your teen a monetary reward like extra allowance or more time allowed on the computer, kind words of encouragement can be a reward in itself for a teenager. Then limiting the things he does beyond homework. How we set our goals has everything to do with whether or not we achieve them. He gets frustrated with homework, and then completely shuts down. What to do when you feel intensely sad or blah. Well, there are a lot of reasons this can happen. Your Child is Facing Peer Pressure Maybe you are getting notes from the school about your child bullying others, or they have suddenly developed a habit of swearing. He said he felt on those days like his attention locked onto the task at hand, and he felt a strong urge to keep doing whatever he was busy with. Advertisements@media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-ciprofamily_com-leader-1-0-asloaded{max-width:250px!important;max-height:250px!important}}if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'ciprofamily_com-leader-1','ezslot_9',631,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-ciprofamily_com-leader-1-0');Celebrate milestones of success together (while avoiding excessive or conditional praise). Motivating Lazy Children - What Motivates a Child? - Empowering Parents Unmotivated Teenagers: What's Really Going On? (And How Parents Can They are under so much pressure to get into a good college that every homework assignment feels like it will decide their future. When they finish their chores, show your gratitude and give them a reward, like extra pocket money, more time on gadgets, or cook them their favorite meal. My teenager is failing high school. : r/Parenting - Reddit [1] Have a two way conversation. This could be as simple as spending a few hours at the local soup kitchen, or spending a day as volunteers at a local festival. Advertisements@media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-ciprofamily_com-leader-4-0-asloaded{max-width:300px!important;max-height:250px!important}}if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'ciprofamily_com-leader-4','ezslot_11',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-ciprofamily_com-leader-4-0');He should face the natural consequences of his choices. He had recently become a fairly regular marijuana user, but probably not heavy enough to really account for his lack of motivation, and the lack of motivation had long predated this habit. As a parent, you have a significant influence on your sons behavior and mindset. Dealing With Lazy Teenagers - Focus on the Family It appears JavaScript is disabled in your browser. This article has been viewed 149,111 times. Make a how-to list: Rinse the dishes. Still, it will be followed by a crash that can leave the teen inactive and unmotivated. And his time management was atrocious. One practical method involves something that psychologists call Premack's Principle (a principle of operant conditioning originally identified by David Premack in 1965). Show him that you believe in him and his abilities, and help him develop a growth mindset that focuses on learning and improvement. You can also encourage your teen to do extracurricular activities and sports, which will get them used to being active and give them more energy. Reason #1: Your teen feels discouraged or overwhelmed Growing up and developing into a young adult is a journey that has many ups and downs. Allow him to choose activities based on his interests, without imposing any pressure. Understand that change doesnt happen overnight and setbacks are a part of the process. Grant your teenage son the freedom to take initiative, as autonomy is a crucial factor in the development of intrinsic or integrated motivation. Rather, he seemed to have just slowly drifted into a state of increasing aimlessness and low motivation over a period of years. Does your teenager seem unmotivated, listless or downright lazy? Match the scale of the your teens wrongdoing with the level of punishment they will receive. Posted April 27, 2010. Parents must take this issue seriously and work to provide opportunities for teenagers to engage in regular physical activity. From a scientific point of view, the universe consists of matter and energy, lacking inherent meaning. In higher grades, teachers expected him to be more self-directed. Note their responses and allow them to share their thoughts. Check in with your teen to see if there's an underlying cause. Self-motivation means being driven by a personal desire to set valued goals and to focus on and move toward these goals despite obstacles. He hates school and he hates to do any kind of work." "My son isn't interested in anything." "All he wants to do is play video games." The parents are desperate for a solution, while their sons feign indifference which can be infuriating for parents! Please note that presenting your son with options is merely another form of control. ADD is just one of them, albeit a fairly common one. Additionally, teens struggling with mental health conditions may also experience difficulty in focusing on school work, hobbies, or relationships. Mind-Body Problem: How Consciousness Emerges from Matter, To Be Happy for the Rest of Your Life, Seek These Goals, Two Ways Mid-Life Running Beefs Up Benefits of Neurogenesis, How to Get Things Done When You Have No Motivation, When Others Sabotage Our Intentions for Healthy Eating and Exercise, 7 Tips for When You've Lost All Motivation, The Impact of Marijuana on Motivation with Adolescents, The Power of Patience for Positive Life Change, How the Contemplation of Death Can Lead to Meaning in Life, Change Your Awareness to Achieve Your Goals, The Boss Is Watching: The Effects of Monitoring Employees, 4 Ways to Help Your Adult Child Who Lacks Ambition. Drop the "lazy" label. Part of going to school is learning how to learn and do things that do not interest you. He may be an otherwise capable young man, but seems apathetic and unmotivated, to the point you think hes not excelling simply because hes lazy. This greatly boosted his morale and his motivation more generally. The patients details have been altered to protect his anonymity. @media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-ciprofamily_com-leader-3-0-asloaded{max-width:300px!important;max-height:250px!important}}if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'ciprofamily_com-leader-3','ezslot_10',602,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-ciprofamily_com-leader-3-0');When providing feedback to your teenage son, focus on being constructive and helpful. If reading this in an email, click the title of the post to listen to the show. Tailor the rewards to the preferences of your teen, as they will feel the reward that much more if it something they are interested in. Active listening and displaying empathy can help achieve this. Spark his curiosity in different subjects by showcasing their practical applications. ADDitude collaborates closely with leading medical experts to publish accurate, clear, and Talk to your son about the pressure he is under. If school does not interest you, what does?, Are there things you feel you are good at that are not taught or measured in school?, Can you see doing some of these things when you are older?, Have you ever thought of how you want your future to look?

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