ungrateful husband islam

document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? i see how these events have stolen ur personality and is destroying u for worst. Thank you so much for sharing the prayers and information with me about the prophets, I really appriciate that. So I kind of took stress, but I am positive that ALLAH will not fade my desire. You said you would have to share your house and car with the second wife. Dear sister I wll reply to all of your messages in one. in short ur insecurity will push him away a lot further than u can imagine. He cannot tolerate this but he has a daughter, and he fears for his daughter if he divorces his wife. He does not have the right to take a child away from it's natural mother. we dont get to read u very often but ur some1 with some best advice on the website. But you can't do the diet for him in the way that you would with, say, a diabetic toddler. You can't control what he does. will i be able to give him babies will i be able to share my husband, will i be able to live in a family with a third wheel? I cannot even entertain the idea of sharing my husband. and she gave her first baby to her co wife. My husband has a decent job, he is not rich though, but we manage to live really good, and also save money, and recently bought a house. I feel so good talking to you, i didnt mention my whole story on the post. Assalaamu alaykum. I could go on and on. i said no i can't stand your dramas, iam going to find someone for you, and meanwhile i will try my all best to get pregnant too. guess what he has two wives too.. but they live together happily in the same house. By using his father's sickness. any1 who is tested with so much pain simply cannot b ordinary. But i dont know why husband has lost hope. You are trying to go with the idea of it, strictly because it's the "right" thing to do. Can I divorce my husband without a valid reason? I have no idea what my husband and will do. The Sealed Nectar -Prophet Muhammads SAW biography Free PDF, Fortress of Muslim -Book of Invocations Free Pdf. So I would suggest start working on your marriage. I also think my husband is not going to be able to fulfill both of our sexual needs, cuz he is not that much into sex, as much as I am. Salam bhai the situation is strange, i told him to remarry only when doctors rejected me. I was told when I was 23ish that bcos when I was a young girl I was sewn shut that I would probably never be able to carry and now I have five kids mashallah..and I got married at 29.also I don't know what country you live ij but Saudi has great fertility specialists in jeddah that have over 60-70 percent success rate..or you can get your md to give you clomid. I tell him ur hurting me even when she is not even in my life it would be worse when she will be here in our lives. MashALLAH, it is hard to believe that these days someone will be so loving and caring for her co wife. And they said no to him and said look yourself. Still, I was blessed to have children easily by the Mercy of Allah, and never ever took medication or had any treatment--I was lucky to have the wisdom of an elder (who has since passed away, May Allah reward him Jannah) who told me to never believe the bad news and that if I put my trust in Allah, all Allah had to say was "kunn fa ya koon" (hopefully I spelled that right) and for Allah it is not difficult to make anything happen. He himself will be stressed enough not having time to himself and juggling two families, and want all drama to be vaporized. One more thing did she not have kids either that her husband married you??? I will try for the rest of my life because i have seen dreams of my own children and Allah also gave me names in my dreams to name those babies. he likes me in makeup i do it all the time to keep myself attracted towards him. Sister keep in mind as well that a second wife he has to provide with equal housingfyi I am a second wife..and everything is split down the middle.there is no sharing of one house.he has to provide her her own home and car if h gave you one.I think that also you should think it through bcos as a first wife I think it will be very tough emotionally and he will definitrly have to work harder to provide efficiently. My back has broken due to this heavy responsibility; nevertheless, I have not received from him even a word of gratitude. Imam Bukhari writes in his book under the heading- : that being ungrateful to husband is a form of kufr. Although all the official advisors of this website give amazing advices and i have a few favourites too, like i read every post they comment on, it was quite recently that i realized that u had captured my attention. After our marriage, I came to know that he was jobless. Don't let that stress of "should I call that lady or not" be your burden, because it's not. You both need to stop that dysfunction and start communicating with each other with sincerity. Even if he took another wife and you DID get pregnant again (which can happen), do you really want the stress of that complicating the chances of a successful pregnancy? Anna. You will have to deal with being compared if her character is milder than yours, or if she treats him more honestly than you. If they've been ungrateful for a while, they'll likely have rationalized their behavior. On the contrary, selfish is a person who is, self-obsessed etc. My husband thinks I did porn as a teenager, My friends are all married but I cant even finish school. Sit him down and cry to him about your fears. Do you want to get a Weekly magazine? Aameen. Our articles are based on Hanafi school, Positive news of Muslim Ummah and research on modern day issues faced by the muslims. Oh amy sister i just couldnt read you story as i was crying and feeling your pain. I want to avoid adultery. Amy I am sorry to hear about your situation. I am still stressed and do think of the second marriage issue, because the lady called me yesterday (the one looking for a girl), and told me that she is going to see a girl for you us today. Since u have miscarried many times i wont even advise u to announce ur pregnancy until it advanced to a safer stage. but he forced me to give him permission as well. She said find a job save up for your future, who knows what will happen stay strong stay put be happy abd stay relxed. Allah created you as a beautiful, intelligent young woman. Always being critical to them wont help you in a relationship. Rabbi Hab L Min Ladunka Dhurryatan ayyibatan 'Innaka Sam`u Ad-Du`'i. that time my husband decided to keep quite. he says he loves me, but ALLAH knows more. ameen. After our marriage, I came to know that he was jobless. He changes the topic. I have been given so much stress that my hormone levels have changed and i fear what will happen. Try to remind this to yourself and control your nafs. You both seem to have terrible communication problems and difficulty dealing honestly with each other. The question isn't why does he want to marry now and not before but will you be able to deal with this? A baby won't solve them, nor will taking another wifeyet if you ignore them I can assure you it will affect any children who come as well as any marriage he contracts with another woman. Yes sis my husband is a kind man. there is nothing of worth in this worldly life. I gave my husband two options: 1. if he is eager for kids, and feels that i can't give him kids, marry now when iam young also, so that if i don't get used to this, i can divorce you and move on with my life. lets say just for a while. so now iam just focused on my treatments and working on them, today i got the best news from the doctors, i was in shock, but happy, i think my dream that i was shown from ALLAH will come true, for sure this month. Maybe you will be good but she mint be not good. I was a school principal, so I continued my job. 10 habits of highly effective Muslim wives I dont know why he cant belive in Allah and have faith in Allah and me. spend your days focusing on all of the wrong things he does will not help you, Focus on the good. yes I know how to drive, i have joined the gym, i am focusing a lot on weight loss. As you said, all your stuff will be shared, but most importantly, your love - your husband will also be shared. He was also influenced by his family and friends to remarry. im not a male basher but i can assure u on this one. It also depends on the individual, the environment, times and the understanding that both spouses have. I feel as if I have a new life. My boyfriends parents dont approveshould we part ways? Since you guys have helped me a lot, and guided me through my toughest time, I will never forget you and will never forget the love and wishes you all have shared with me. ALLAH knows what I want the most. but if there is anything else anyone can suggest please tell me. I was in shock that it hasn't even been two days of this incident and he want to re marry. I have been married to my husband for more than nine years. I too went on Ana Polygamy's blog (didn't find it too helpful and left after I found out about her heresies) but I saw that other women were feeling it the same way I was, even worse in certain cases. He had that thought in his mind even before, he i started to force him. apple green yes alhamdulliah I have posted this just 6 days back and it was posted as soon as possible, and I am so happy, that ALLAH showed me this site, otherwise I would of have made many mistakes in my life. AM I DOING WRONG, OR WRITE. I am feeling si good about myself after that conversation with her. Or is it a major sin because it puts one's faith in danger? Try to focus on their good. It will put more pressure on you to maintain a facade, which if I can be honest seems to be what you are already doing in telling him "yeah go ahead take another wife" when you don't really want that. I am just speaking in general. During this time, he has treated me like a slave. There are experiences you will have in polygamy, painful ones, that you can't possibly predict now. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. Anger In Islam - Quran Explorer I also told him at a good muslim lady, i have no rights to stop you from doing this, I will be hurt but I have no rights to stop you selfishly, but I would not want you to commit a sin after getting married. I'm not a bad kid, I don't do drugs or have bad friends or anything. You are not obligated to live polygamy, if you really don't want to. Anyways we both where sad and prayed to ALLAH alot, that time my husband has alot of faith in me and in ALLAH. These things will help me alot in the future and present. Then he moved away and went to the women, and Bilal was with him. I went into shock and my husband was happy!! If a husband has always been kind to his wife and she sees once what she considers as a mistake from him, she would say that she has never seen any good from him. As a Woman we have hormonal change and our emotional needs which sometimes trigger us to be ungrateful to our husband. While was I studying about the second marriages in Islam, I came to this site, like last week, and decided to post my problem here, but alhamdulliah I have full faith and I will try my best in not committing a sin, by stopping him to re-marry. I really appreciate that you actually understood my fears. Dear sister, be patient for patience is an effective weapon. My mother in law was a second wife of my father in law (he passed away2010) my father in law got married to his first wife when they both were teenage. Certainly, it will be great if he has a child from another woman and he treats you both justly and you live in harmony, but you will have to face a lot of jealousy from the other woman. I can just feel for the first one, because alot of post i read here are mostly about first wives getting co-wives no second wife has mentioned any of her sorrows. Farrukh is right. Before driving kids to school and himself to work, he asked . Question: My husband travels too much, and the responsibility of the house and children has fallen on me. How to avoid marital disputes? if a woman is displeased with her husband You know, your husband can still take another wife -if he wanted to- even if you were to get pregnant and deliver a healthy child. They did commit mistakes due to jealousy between them, but were corrected by Allah and His Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Farrukh Alhamdulliah thank you so much for the advice and information as i feel more comfortable after reading your post. This is how we treat our spouse too. But why does he confuse me always, by sometimes saying I am sorry It was shaitan who made me mistreat you after your miscarriage. I tend to think you might find yourself in a worse position if you don't think this all through thorougly, and make the right decision for your family, and we don't want to see that happen. dont be grieved because your husband wants to have another wife. Am I Ungrateful for Rejecting a Proposal? IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. Lastly, we would like to stress the need for you to adhere to patience to the best of your ability and to seek reconciliation as much as you can. Where can I find a good revert Muslim man to marry? After reading your post, i feel more educated on this matter. Prophet Dawood (David) (alaihim al-Salm) was also not able to become a father. And sister relate to your mom because i have been begging for chances sine 2.5 years. 21K likes, 2,537 comments - Lindaikejiblog (@lindaikejiblogofficial) on Instagram: "Islam will never let you down- Kazim Adeoti tells wife Mercy Aigbe as they complete their 2023 ha . My Husband didn't agree, but some how two months before HAJJ 2011, ALLAH put in his heart for HAJJ, and we bought ticket and started packing. I can live without kids, but i can't live without my husband. He says he loves me but doesnt belive in me. There are times when couples who have been deemed hopelessly infertile do conceive children unexpectedly. Anger is one of the worst things considered in Islam. You can search for fatwa through many choices, Khulu` (Divorce at the request of the wife who pays a compensation). Lots of Love and Best wishes: Imam Ali (a.s.) said, He, who rides in the boat of patience, arrives at the field of victory.. Allah does best for all of us, we just dont understand the meaning of it. thanx for asking about my mum. May Allah bless us all. May Allah make it easy for u in the mean time ur sisters in faith shall continue to pray. Loves me and the kids. just stop bordering your self, put your mind in peace, and stop letting anything to disturb your peace of mind. Should I let my future partner know about a previous relationship? it looks like ur husband has made his mind and seems to b less likely to change it. ANNA Her life is just as stressful and she is aging rapidly. First thank you so much for your help and understanding. Salam sister if he marries i am not going to live in the same house at all. Whenever one of you finishes his travel, let him hasten back to his family.. I want to marry out of love but my father is super stubborn, My husband disrespected my parents and they are now demanding khula, His mother wont approve of me because Im not Pakistani. To amy, nadia, apple green, mohd, saba, sister, sum and farrukh Just some news i wanted to share, with all of you, as i have mentioned it already on some of your comments. I have done alot of reasearch and i have studied myself too, i know i wont be able to live this way with an other lady, i might take khula, that is my extend. I fear that he will be inclined over her more, I don't want him to do anything that ALLAH will punish him for, as ALLAH does punish the one who is inclined to one wife more then the other, because he is not treating them equally. Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, " Allah will not look at a woman who is ungrateful to her husband while she cannot take care of herself without him. Don't normalize ungrateful behavior. " Source: al-Sunan al-Kubr lil-Nas' 9086 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani It should be noted that the husband is obliged to provide for his wife and children; it is not incumbent on the wife to provide for her husband or the children, even if she is rich. You curse so frequently and you are ungrateful to your husbands. Tell him you don't think it will have a good effect on your health, which is a big factor if you are trying to get pregnant and have a history of infertility and miscarriage. I told him that it was just too much, and in the end he divorced her as soon as she made a mistake he could blame it on. Then I was told by three doctors to stay at home and not to go for HAJJ, and gave me bed rest. I cried alot and tld him how ungrateful he was. Your husband is old enough to do his own research and make his own grocery lists. Answer (1 of 4): My late friend died Friday before Ramadan. You have the full right to accept or reject. I will always keep myself engaged in prayers, and will hope for the best for myself, and my husband and my family (Inshallah). Wa ayy-yah dhu-roon. The husband, also, has to try his best to solve this problem. You have spent way yo much time on worrying about a baby for him and a new wife for him, NOW, its about u. focus on ur health. Shaitan is most pleased when spouse fight. This may be the hardest part to deal with. I also feel good that you shared such important infirmation. Islam does not permit the burdening of wives with heavy duties. For example: A-oo-dhoo bi-ka-li-maa till-laa-hit taaam-ma-ti min gha-da-bi-hee wa i-qaa-bi-hee wa shari ibaa-dih. Show affection for your mate. The worst thing that could happen is you keep playing around with this and then when he does marry you want him to divorce her because you can't take it. My future mother-in-law refuses to initiate relations in an acceptable manner. Rather, I have provided him with everything, a luxury flat, a luxury car, and I have served him in ever way and left my ATM card at his disposal? I didn't say anything, i felt confused, that he seemed confused. He says he wants my happiness my kids, and he doesnt tell his friends to stop looking. I pray that Allah blesses you with a beautiful child soon and brings you and your husband peace. If all these solutions fail, you should continue in your present state and look forward to the reward of Allah that the future may be better than the past. I know I have done a lot of research on this sister, that my mind is finished. Plus you can never bring the dynamic that experience with two women brings to a man (I'm not talking sexually, just in general). I started to do research on polygamy and how ALLAH want the wives and husband to behave and what are the rights and what are the wrongs. Polygamy is permissible, but sister, if he will not treat the other woman equally as you, then it is Dhulm (oppression) which is not ideal in a polygamy as per Islam. My sis said that is good, try to keep youself matained, keep urself clean keep ur house clean cook good food all what he likes. However, if you have a car of your own, she has no rights to it at all. I want to tell him how i feel abot this and what i want, but he refuses to talk. We are doing great together, he loves me cares for me, give me what I want, like he fulfills my needs Alhamduliah, and I care for him with all my heart and accept everything he does for me, and give him whatever he wants in return. On top of that, his wife struggled with PCOS. alhamdulliah. Is it haram to egg donor/surrogate mother between wives of a husband? I have a small female reproductive system. So that's why I'm saying, if you can just start being honest with yourself, and him, about what you're really feeling (which is conflicted and insecure) then you can avoid a truckload of pain that will be headed your way if he takes another wife. It was the most emotionally painful experience I've ever had. Hadith on Shukr: Sin of ingratitude to husbands who provide So I was kind of stressed. Friday morning, her husband made breakfast for the kids, made her a juice as she wished. I was excited that I will see all the places where our beloved prophet (PBUH), used to live and see The House of ALLAH. I am trying my best to conceive and I live in canada here treatment is great and I am taking clomid and metformine and that is about it. And believe me, he's not going to want to spend the time he's with you dealing with emotions. 47. A Wife's Rebellion Against Her Husband | The heart opener However i have some advice for u and u can take if u want or throw it if u dont care coz sister nadia and sister Amy specially have given u some great input. Disrespectful Husband: 15 Warning Signs and Ways to Handle so wise people strive for the akhira whilst still in this world .. so its nothing sister , if you lose something in this worthless and decieving world. Some scholars stated that if the husband is the one who harms his wife, he is not entitled to take any compensation for divorcing her, as highlighted in fatwa 165253. Sister if he marries i will not do anything to her as i will have no right on her. Imam Bukhari writes in his book under the heading- : that being ungrateful to husband is a form of kufr. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Is she disobedient because she fails to obey her husband, or is it a minor sin due to pride? Forced to marry my first cousin, but I loved another man, My mother continues to berate me after my marriage fell through. I try my best to communicate with him but he changes the topic when i say dont change the topic he says i dont want to see you cry. Alot of stuff I have read and thought about. It's not even your responsibility to find him a wife; if that's something he wants he need to be the one to find her. sometimes when i am by myself resentful memories do come by and leave me tearful but we all learn to say Alhamdolillah coz we only get what we deserve. I am also happy that you other is out of an abusive relationship. Don't do any . have u tried other cardio vascular activities like dance aerobic or swimming? So all of us were then thrust into polygamy, arguably, against our will. He praised and glorified Allah, then he urged them to obey Allah, then he said: Give charity, for most of you are the fuel of Hell. A lowly woman with dark cheeks said: Why, O Messenger of Allah? He said: You complain a great deal and are ungrateful to your husbands. They started taking off their necklaces, earrings and rings, throwing them into Bilals garment, giving them in charity. (ref: Sunan an-Nasai 1575). I cried and asked for forgiveness from ALLAH, and said to my husband, please get married, as I want to see you happy and i want your own kids. "The first thing a woman is called to account for on the Day of Judgment are her prayers and her relations with her husband". you shouldnt forget this, that you are undergoing a test from Allah. . my faith towards ALLAH grows like fire, and I know inshallah at the end of Ramdhan I will give everyone a good news that iam pregnant, and my husband will ask for forgiveness from ALLAH that he doubted ALLAH, and didn't have faith as much as I have faith in my ALLAH. Continue with Recommended Cookies. He got married when his first wife was 42 years old and was 100 percent sure that ALLAH can't bless them with kids. If he doesnt marry then i am the happiest lady of all. Your words are laden with such poignancy that I'm left speechless. But still it is said that most of the hell's . The mother of all miracles is when Allah blessed Virgin Maryam (Mary) with Prophet Isa (Jesus) (alaihim al-Salm) when no man had ever touched her. That made him to see dream about he is going to be a father most man build that kind of dream when wife conceive. Does your husband demean you or get frustrated at you for small things? Alhamdolillah. This is important. I said to him you can't be unfair and irrisponsible. Being Grateful To Husband - Islam Hashtag I didnt mention that because i thought it was not important. Islam teaches love; to make bonds, to form relationships, to be positive, to not degrade someone, to not insult someone, to avoid each and every word that hurts the people and their self-esteem. This feeling will bring u positive results insha allah. They werent even trying anymore, and they got pregnant and were blessed with a child. Which plant did Prophet Yunus Alaihe salam placed on his body after coming out of Fishs stomach? wasted enough money on these treatments and was told that I can never conceive or ever become a mother. I am impressed please give my regards to your mother. I am raising money for my asylee friends family! Dear Christine: How Can I Cope with an Ungrateful Spouse? That's a contradiction, and both CANNOT be true at once. If you want to deal with him on the basis of justice, then it is permissible for you to respond in like to his unkind words, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "And if you punish (your enemy), then punish them with the like of that with which you were afflicted" [al-Nahl 16:126]. Badria Al-Junaibi chosen among worlds top 2% scientists by Stanford, Islamic Investment Funds and mode of Islamic shariah investment, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Remembering Lion of the Desert: Omar Mukhtar 88 years of Martyrdom. I will suggest you to consult a very good doctor to find out what is the reason that you had miscarriage. Since my year 2013 began i am crying and praying that Allah will bless me with childten of my husband and he will not have to marry. I am not pregnant yet but they say chances are 70 percent so far. If I was still not able to bless him, then he should of have said to remarry? You say everything is happy and great with you all, but yet can say you feel unloved by him. Today's Beautiful Hadith is about Ungratefulness Still ur advice about this world was a good reminder to us all. as just providing for her financially and physically has to be the same. In the beginning I tried to be open and make the best of it. Talking to my reflection. Is reading fiction or books about sinful themes haram? Need dua please for successful in vitro fertilisation. Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The short answer to your question is, no, you are not considered ungrateful for refusing a proposal. But due my recent miscarriage, he started saying i want to marry because your not able to guve me a healthy baby/pregnancy. Decrease the amount of time you spend with your family. but Alhamdulliah I am informed about it.

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