how to coach a condescending employee

Give feedback that your employees can hear and use. Maybe the person is interrupting colleagues too often. If they see that youre willing to have a conversation with them, they may be more likely to change their behavior. Not responding in the moment is a disservice to both yourself and your employees. Use Ariel's Coaching for Change tips to get them back on track. Shannon was extremely bright, and I wanted her to have firsthand experience of what it was like to meet clients, Suz recalls. Try one of these strategies to keep your cool and not sink to the level of the offending party. Handle A Condescending Coworker By Confronting Them: 4. They are the comments that are laced with attitude and hidden meaning, typically at the expense of another individual. Tracy Lopez August 25, 2022 Coaching for Change: Developing Arrogant Employees Having trouble with overconfident employees? The employee well call him Peter would constantly interrupt his colleagues, roll his eyes during meetings, and be much too forward with his often unwarranted feedback. By interrupting you, they think their opinion is more important than yours. Spend less time with them and dont talk to them as often. Engage in joint problem solving. Other ways they can be condescending can be using degrading or inappropriate nicknames. If your coworker is struggling, try to be supportive. "Don't be afraid to challenge this employee's assertions," said Atlanta-based career coach and author Hallie Crawford. Lea McLeod is an experienced manager, career consultant, and job search coach. MANAGER: While I admire your confidence in this situation it never hurts to learn more and get more guidance. Your co-worker who asks if you understand the boss memo in a tone that you find reproachable? 3 Try not to take the condescension personally. By ignoring you, theyre making it clear that they dont think youre worth their time. If you cant seem to get your condescending coworker to change their behavior, you may have to distance yourself. These are not good signs if theyre making faces or acting like they cant stand you. You should let the person know that they are talking down to you so that they can correct their behavior for future conversations. This is the most effective way to get your condescending coworker to stop their behavior. Telling employees that theyre alienating colleagues requires a great deal of delicacy, she says. This can help to make your working relationship more tolerable. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. Formerly a director-level manager at HP, Lea helps you learn skills to build confidence and competence at work and to deal with tough situations that can be super frustrating. Although a coworker who explains information or a task to you can just be presenting thoughtful advice, it can be interpreted as condescending if its information youre already well-versed on. Let them know whats going on and ask them to help you deal with the situation. Moreover, it increases stress, destroys happiness and decreases productivity and drives burnout. Go ahead Jack. But it certainly wasnt going to be an easy conversation, Alina says. One way to ease the tension of having to deal with a patronizing coworker is to understand that it's not personal. After all, youre more likely to see a shift in behavior if the other person feels like hes had an opportunity to come up with a solution.. The next time theyll likely think twice before interrupting or acting condescendingly. 7 Top Strategies for Managing Employee Performance | Lattice How to Manage a Stubborn, Defensive, or Defiant Employee If you want a more relaxed conversation, you might suggest taking a walk together or having this conversation in a caf, she says. Spend less time with them and dont talk to them as often. What does it mean when someone is condescending? The definition of condescending is to demonstrate feelings of superiority over another person. What should you say? Most Managers Don't Know How to Coach People. But They Can Learn. Managers are hesitant to engage in difficult conversations because they're not sure how to approach their employees. It can make you feel unimportant and marginalized. When we're stressed, our brain tends to mount a defensive 'fight-flight-or-freeze' responseduring which there's reduced activity in brain areas responsible for reasoning, self-control . Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Perhaps, this knowledge gives you the clarification you need to simply move on and accept that the coworker is a pain. If your coworker is manipulative, confront them. It obviously hadnt sunk in, because Shannon didnt show any remorse or understanding about why anyone would be looking at her or why she shouldnt do it.. Use their confidence to your advantage. If, for example, your relentless interrupter gets aggressive or recalcitrant, you could say something like, Make sure your colleagues have had a chance to finish their sentences before you speak next time. When your condescending coworker is bothering you, walking away may be the best option. Difficult conversations with employees: 9 crucial rules to remember I explained to her, If you are on your phone, you cannot be fully present to understand what is happening in the room. Keeping non-hostile expressions and neutral postures when confronting the condescending employee helps create a safe environment where both parties can express themselves freely without the fear of being judged. Instead, focus on staying as calm as you can. A condescending person seems to think theyre better than everyone else. If the behavior continues, employees should document all the instances and present them to the proper manager or HR representative. Dont let them take advantage of you, and dont let them walk all over you. 1. Insecurity can lead to a coworker trying to put others down to feel better about themselves. What Is Considered Condescending Behavior? They may have some ideas on how to deal with the situation. No matter the specific behavior, your employee is clearly rubbing people the wrong way. If they let the comments get to them, it could trigger a fear response that makes employees act based on emotions instead of making rational and logical decisions. Some coworkers are condescending because theyre unhappy. This type of employee can leave people feeling frustrated, exhausted and disrespected. She then asked Peter for his perspective. If youve ever cringed in a meeting when your direct report was talking, you know how tough it can be to watch a team member undermine themselves. how can I get my employee to stop condescending to me? This response allows you to take control of the situation, it also allows you to redirect the condescending nature of the employee. Helping them learn new ways to respond. 1. I don't think it was right for Jack to spread false information. If the behavior of your condescending coworker is getting to you, take a break. You can avoid this by remaining calm, despite how the conversation is going, and sticking to logic. If theyre still unhappy after fixing the problem, it might be time to find a new job. And how you plan to say it When it comes to conversations like these, what you say is nearly as important as how you say it. If your coworkers behavior becomes a problem, you can talk to your boss about it. They might enjoy having control over others. Once you confront them, see if theyre willing to change. Work Life. Help them out where you can and offer them some distractions. 12 Simple Ways to Deal with a Condescending Boss - wikiHow Other examples of condescending behavior include employees who oversimplify or overexplain things in a patronizing tone, call coworkers demeaning names like chief or sweetheart, correct little mistakes, interrupt and tell a coworker to calm down or make them feel like they're overreacting when they're not. Help them out where you can and offer them some distractions. Youre more likely to see a shift in behavior if your employee feels like theyve had an opportunity to help come up with a solution. Dont merely throw at your co-worker that they are patronizing. MANAGER: Could you've helped Jack in another way to give correct information? State factual observations of your employees actions. An effective way to handle a condescending coworker and put them in their place is by asking for further explanation about the subject theyre touching on. Dont make judgments, dont generalize, and dont interpret, Su says. Summary. Be Careful Not To Sound Patronizing Yourself. Shannon spent most of the meeting checking her phone. If your coworker is always mean to you, theyre likely condescending. Correcting, interrupting, and using overfamiliar nicknames are all examples of condescending behaviour. With this in mind, human resource professionals should be adept at identifying and flagging the tell-tale signs of employees or managers who continuously condescend on others to prevent problematic issues from arising. They want to hurt others and make them feel low. [1] Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. How do you broach the topic? Prepare for the reality that could have a very negative response to this discussion. How to Deal with Condescending People - wikiHow Plan ahead by thinking about what you wish to convey and how you want to convey it. When youre ready, you can talk to your coworker about their behavior. Nicknames are often not the most work-appropriate behavior to adopt, but sometimes they can be so bad that theyre considered patronizing and inappropriate. If theyre so condescending to someone they work with professionally, imagine the interactions they have with the person who serves them their morning coffee. If you go in full of awkwardness, that will radiate itself. Therefore, what may seem like an appropriate and innocent tone may be disrespectful to someone from a different background. Here are four approaches that can help. 7 ways to manage a condescending employee | HRD Canada This is a conversation that requires a lot of preparation. She recommends collecting your thoughts by asking yourself what behaviors youpersonally have observed. If your coworker is always acting like they know everything, theyre likely condescending. Check out 9 ways you can respond. They can further help to support you through this difficult time. Most dictionaries define condescension as an attitude of patronizing superiority, with the intent to make people feel bad. Interrupting someone when theyre speaking is a big sign of disrespect and is a pretty patronizing thing to do in the professional world. The employee who disregards training and basic tasks because "he already knows." An effective way to handle a condescending co-worker is to ask for further explanation about the subject they are talking about. 13 Ways To Handle Condescending Coworkers (With Benefits) Not to mention, dealing with condescending people at work can sap your energy and make you less productive! You want neutral observations, such as, I observed Xin the last meeting, and the impact was Y. Its also wise to strategize how your employee might respond to your comments. "Someone could have a really good idea, and you'd miss out on an opportunity to make something easier to do or more efficient," he said. Five Ways to Deal With Rudeness in the Workplace EMPLOYEE: Finally, Ive been waiting for you to tell me. Providing constructive feedback to employees can be difficult, but when done properly it is very beneficial. The Journal of Accountancy is now completely digital. Often, leaders fear the conversation won't go well and employees will become upset. But on the other hand, Jack mightn't have lost his temper and his presentation would have gone more smoothly. If you take things personally, it'll feel like this person is attacking you, and in turn, you'll trigger a fear response mechanism in your brain. Ignore Them: The best way to deal with a condescending coworker is to ignore them. They will only become more insufferable if you do not ignore them over time. 13 steps for handling condescending coworkers Consider following these steps when presented with such a scenario: 1. It may come off as rude and demeaning but trying to understand the main topic of feedback could give insight on an aspect the employee could improve on. It is advisable for anyone put on the spot to stay calm and ignore the comment to avoid further conflict. It can also be beneficial to set up a meeting later to talk about the situation one-on-one. It is a great deal of de-motivation for coworkers. Read more: Essential soft skills to become a great leader. With time and patience, theyll become more social. They wanted me to sign up for their services, which included an online forum to produce and market classes based on my content. Learn more by downloading this comprehensive report. If you dont give them the reaction they want, they may give up and leave you alone. In this case, it sounds like your employee needs a good accountability anchor to work on with you! Below are four possibilities that may be able to help. Heres how to handle this difficult conversation. You can also set boundaries with your condescending coworker. 8. Interestingly, Peter genuinely had no clue of the impact he had, and didnt realize he was causing disruptions, she says. This means that if the issue is getting under your skin, it can be fixed through open and honest discussion a lot of the time. You are letting your coworker know that you wont put up with their behavior. ManageBetter, with its library of 3,000 feedback phrases, might be a resource you want to check out. She spent the meeting trying to figure out how to get Shannon to put her phone down while not drawing more attention to it. Employees, managers, and HR leaders should set the tone for acceptable behavior in the workplace so that colleagues can follow suit, especially the new hires. Condescending coworkers can leave you feeling devalued, dismissed, and completely annoyed. As a result of you speaking over three people, I couldnt hear what they were going to say. Maintain a collected and composed standpoint when talking to someone about when youve felt patronized by them at work. Stand up for yourself and set boundaries. Suz held herground. You may not be able to change the behavior of others, but you can at least learn to effectively deal with them to minimize the impact and suffering on you, your confidence, and your work. Those are signals that tell her she nailed itif, in fact, she was trying to piss you off. Receiving negative feedback may be frustrating, especially if it was delivered rudely, but it can still help the employee improve their output. Copyright 2023 KM Business Information US, Inc, The importance of emotional intelligence in the workplace, California city now has nation's highest minimum wage. Though they may appear self-assured, arrogant employees are often insecure deep down. When doling out a compliment, stay focused on the positiveanything else can make you come off as snide or even snobbish. She took out her phone and demonstrated what Shannon had done in the meeting. If you're faced with managing an employee whose arrogant ways are becoming a problem, here are some tactics to try: Face the problem head-on. Start-Up Boom In Pandemic Detailed Stats, All Stats Related To Cut In Greenhouse Gas Emission Due To WFH. Before you put in your two weeks notice letter just yet, take a beat to consider the possible ways you can handle a condescending co-worker. If youre having trouble with a condescending coworker, start by talking to them. Telling You To Chill Out When Youre Upset. 2. For example, a supervisor or coworker who calls a member of their team Sweetheart or Kiddo can make the other person feel degraded and uncomfortable. You can also try pushing back on their claims. Dealing with a condescending employee does not have to be a headache. EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Based on my conversation with the customer, our latest launch . How to respond when someone I manage speaks and explains with a Morey suggests having a know-it-all employee moderate a brainstorming session. Sometimes reversing roles can be helpful. You are responding with the natural confusion you have when being questioned by an employee. Being honest with the person is the best way to deal with condescending behavior. Some coworkers are condescending because theyre insecure. It is important to respond in a non-emotional, neutral, matter-of-fact way. JANE: Maybe. This is a development conversation, and you ought to be up front about that. While it may sound obvious, remembering that the condescending behavior is not personal to you as the manager is very important. Summary. Our daily newsletter is FREE and keeps you up-to-date with the world of HR. Pointing fingers, rolling eyes, banging the desk, and crossing arms are some gestures to avoid as they can create a hostile environment. Don't characterize them. There are many reasons why a coworker might be condescending. Your supervisor doesn't have the right understanding of how a certain process should work. Suz explained that she saw the looks on their clients faces, and while she cant know what they were thinking, she worried that they found it irritating as well. If the problem continues and is significantly affecting the workplace and the mental health of others, then the HR representative may take appropriate disciplinary action. Think about what you want to project. You need a good game plan to defend against this type of behavioror else your self-confidence is going to take a big hit. Assuming that the annoying co-worker is trying to provoke you, its best to respond as neutrally as possible. Engaging in office gossip is unprofessional. If your coworker cant do that, it might be time to find a new job. If your coworker is unhappy, try to be understanding. Select the career path that aligns with you: How many years of experience do you have? Your boss may also have some ideas on how to deal with your condescending coworker. You dont want to leave animosity hanging around your work environment to fester. You also might want to see what you can do to make the situation better while you look for another job. For example, a co-worker who constantly shares comments throughout the day on the layout of a poster design may seem condescending but actually points out an area on the design that could be sharpened to be better. The most effective tool for dealing with condescending employees is calling out their behavior if you see it. Set Boundaries To Handle A Condescending Coworker: 8. Condescension in the Ranks: How to Handle Snide Remarks at Work It is okay to share the excitement of the experience but telling the story in a condescending tone, especially when mentioning the famous person has no contribution to the conversation, can seem like the employee is trying to show off their connections as more important. When someone is condescending they will often demonstrate feelings of superiority over you. Their goal is to feel superior at your expense, resulting in you feeling belittled and inferior. If your co-worker has other recognizable good traits, and the occasional dip into this kind of rudeness is rare, you might want to focus on the context of what hes saying and not the tone. 4. Be transparent about your intention. Remember, Webb says, your goal as a manager is to help [your team members] be the best versions of themselves. To that end, start the conversation by signaling your good intentions. Say something like, Im always looking for ways to help you develop, and I have some thoughts. 9 Quick Tips For Handling Overly Social Employees - Insperity After years of weathering many insufferable male friends, colleagues, boyfriends, and family members, I have simply had a lifetime's fill of being condescended to. Likewise, it can be very frustrating. Some coworkers are arrogant by nature. make sure that you dont react to them only to egg them on. 5 Common Signs You're Being Condescending at Work | The Muse MANAGER: I am trying not to overwhelm you with information. Keep in mind that it is a purely professional situation When communicating with a coworker, it's helpful to remember that you're discussing professional matters. This quick guide walks you through the process of adding the Journal of Accountancy as a favorite news source in the News app from Apple. This can help keep the situation from getting worse. Go for a walk or take a few minutes to yourself. If your coworker is manipulative, confront them. Use The Muse to find a job at a company with a culture you love. They might feel like theyre not good enough, or they might be insecure about their abilities. When encountering a situation involving condescension, employees and leaders should remind affected workers not to let comments get to them. Using nicknames like boss, sweetie, honey, or chief in a professional workplace may be looked upon as inappropriate and demeaning. Among them was a commitment to help produce social media posts, he explained, asking me in a rather condescending tone, Do you know what social media is, Lea? Could he have been more patronizingor less informed about his potential customer?

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